The Muffin Room

This Turtle's Life

2011-05-22T13:45:00.000-07:00

As I look back on the last few years of my life, I can't help but be surprised at how far I've come. Who knew that a little turtle from the hills of Marin could someday wield so much power and influence?

It all started when I was just a wee thing. I was a twin, and times were always rough growing up. There never seemed to be enough food to go around, and my parents could never tell me and my brother apart. His name was Terry and mine was Larry, and eventually we just became known as "TerryLarry." It was frustrating not to have my own identity, especially since I always felt that I was different -- not just from Terry and my parents, but all the other turtles I knew growing up. I used to love designing little legwarmers out of moss and cute hats out of acorn shells. I guess you could say I marched -- slowly -- to my own drumbeat.

One afternoon in May, I decided to take a walk by myself. I was feeling pretty down; I had just applied to design school and had gotten rejected, on account of my being a turtle and all. All of a sudden I heard high pitched screaming from down the path. I started heading away from the sound, thinking it might be a coyote stuck in a hunter's trap or something, but I guess I misjudged the direction because I immediately crossed paths with these hikers. One of them was still screaming -- something about a snake -- and the other two were laughing. I tried to look inconspicuous and head back into the bushes, but I think it must have been fate or something. The screaming man saw me, picked me up, and plopped me into a cup. At first I was terrified, but then I thought, hey -- this could be the opportunity I've been waiting for my whole life. A chance to get away from my brother and my family and start fresh.

After a long drive, we arrived at their apartment. There was some argument about what to do with me, but pretty soon they stuck me in my own little tank and I was living the dream. I imagined Terry, back at home in Marin, and here I was in my own condo in the city! Not to say that there wasn't an adjustment period. My adoptive parents were long on enthusiasm but short on actual know-how. They learned, though, and after a few failed attempts (note to readers: turtles in general do not enjoy truffle-oil cheese) they got to know my likes and dislikes. Along the way they changed my name to Rapture, which I think really suits me better. I felt accepted, and more than that I felt like they showered me with affection and little gifts. God knows where they found these things, but pretty soon I had my own Vespa scooter, hot tub, and Apple laptop. I also had a lot more space to work on my designs, and my new parents were more than happy to buy me a mini sewing machine and to model the outfits I made for them.

The real turning point in my life came when I saw my first Bollywood movie. I felt like something all of a sudden clicked. THIS was where I was meant to be -- designing costumes for Bollywood dance numbers. While my parents were asleep, I'd watch and re-watch scenes from "Om Shanti Om" in slow motion, admiring the sequins and chiffons that swirled through the air. I knew it would be tough, but somehow I had to convince my adoptive parents to let me move to Bombay and try to make it on my own.

It was a tearful scene when I told them my plans, but I think deep down they knew that I couldn't live in their little tank forever. Papa Isael helped me pack my suitcase and Papa Hiroo made me promise I'd call them as soon as I landed.

Say what you will about India, but I never once felt discriminated because I'm a turtle. In fact, I felt like it opened up more doors for me in Bollywood. After only six months of living in some pretty squalid conditions in the slums, I moved in with Karan Johar and became his personal assistant. Pretty soon he gave me a chance to design costumes for one of his films, and the rest, as they say, is history! Papa Hiroo especially is so proud of me, and whenever he and Papa Isael come visit me I tell everyone the story of how they rescued me from my horrid upbringing in the jungles of Marin. Now I'm working on a screenplay about my life and I hope to reach out to my birth parents and Terry -- they won't believe how far I've come.

Villanelle

2011-04-13T21:06:00.000-07:00

The dust beneath the keys remains unseen
but I can tell that it is always there.
I wish that all around me was pristine.

You think I'm crazy and I think you're mean
the way your crap lies all around our lair.
The dust beneath the keys remains unseen.

The apple on the counter's turning green,
the floors are strewn with balls of dust and hair.
I wish that all around me was pristine.

I never realized that you weren't too keen
on keeping our house neat with perfumed air.
The dust beneath the keys remains unseen.

My clean obsession's lived since I was a teen
who vacuumed up the dirt that wasn't there.
I wish that all around me was pristine.

I want my house like in a magazine,
so folks will enter shocked and gasp and stare.
The dust beneath the keys remains unseen,
I wish that all around me was pristine.

Finding a Present Value is the Reverse of Finding a Future Value*

2011-04-13T20:51:00.000-07:00

What about past value? Recently I've found myself mulling over past relationships and mistakes made. Generally these are the same thing -- past relationships = mistakes. I'm not what you'd call "super-experienced" when it comes to dating. I think it's a combination of factors:

1) Not being allowed to date until...well, I guess according to my parents, I was never allowed to date; I was just supposed to magically get married.
2) Not being what most guys are into. Generally people think that guys are into whatever woman walks past them, but sadly I've learned this is not the case. I'm not sure what it is. I don't think I'm ugly. I just think that I'm not attractive to most guys. I often get overlooked.

So anyway, the number of actual "boyfriends" I've had (including my husband) is four. Not high, not minuscule. And of those four, I'd say two were complete disasters. I can find absolutely zero past value in those two relationships, other than to indicate to me that I'm a horrible judge of character (my own included) and I should not be trusted to make wise dating decisions. Of the remaining two, I think one was just dumb luck, and the fourth and ultimate one was a great choice, though I think that could also feasibly be chalked up to luck. Because you just never know.

In my current relationship I'd say that the present value is not the reverse of the future value. I'd like to think both are highly valuable. But then maybe what the phrase means is that, like I said before, you never know. The present value could be awesome and the future value could be crap. Or death. Or falling into a volcano. Which also equals death.

Hm. So basically trying to find a future value is futile, so therefore you should bask in the present value, which the reverse of that because you should actually be aware of what you have at the moment (?). But what about "you don't appreciate what you have until it's gone"? Is Fundamentals of Financial Management trying to get all philosophical on us?

I guess I should value what is in front of me at the present moment: good friends, fancy laptops, strawberries, wine, and the clacking of fingers hitting the keyboards, inspired by what could have been the most banal of sources.

* Writing exercise inspired by a randomly-selected phrase from the book Fundamentals of Financial Management.

Flight vs. Invisibility

2010-08-21T19:26:00.000-07:00

I just heard the repeat of an old "This American Life" episode in which people are asked if they would choose flight or invisibility as their superpower of choice. When it comes down to it, supposedly, everyone who says they would choose flight is lying to themselves and really we'd all just rather be invisible so we could steal shit and look at other people naked. I always thought I'd definitely be someone who would choose flight, but I have come to realize I'm not so sure.

Sometimes I think Facebook is kind of like an invisibility machine, in a way. You get to peer into the lives of people from your past, or their friends, or their friends' friends, or random people who would probably be wondering why the hell you know where they went to college or what kind of shoes they just bought to wear to their cousin's wedding. It can be a little creepy. One minute you're looking up an old high school friend and the next you're gazing at a photo of a horrible ex-boyfriend's adorable children and wondering why he deserves such a perfect-looking family. I think this is why I could never handle the power of invisibility if I was given it, and also why I shouldn't spend too much time on Facebook.

Romper Room

2010-08-02T18:01:00.001-07:00

I am so glad this issue has been resolved.

Continuing Obsession: Vintage Swimwear

2010-05-15T23:22:00.000-07:00

As a child, I generally got one swimsuit per summer. Sometimes my mom sewed them herself, and they were pretty cute. As time went on, my poolside fashion depended on the shape I was in and what I wanted to cover up. I had a brief five-year period when I could show off my skinny lil' self in skimpy two-pieces (far from my mother's disapproving glare, of course), but those days have come and gone.

In college, I discovered that Southern California girls own more than just one bathing suit -- you had several different suits for lying out, dipping in the pool, hot tubbing, actually swimming, etc. Suddenly I owned a suitcase full of bathing suits, many of them vintage ones scored from rummage sales and thrift stores in Santa Barbara. Naturally the suitcase was vintage as well. Some people have an "ick" factor when it comes to buying vintage (a.k.a. "used") swimwear, but I don't really care. Just wash it in hot water and it's fine, I think.

Besides, who would want to look like this:

when you could look like this:

I Want...

2010-05-10T18:15:00.000-07:00

1) Every pair of these chappals from Tribal Route in Bombay (I already own the ones pictured here).

2) This scene to magically happen in front of me, or better yet STARRING me.

3) These outfits.

4) To stay at this hotel.

I can dream, right? Out of these, the chappals might become a reality. But who knows? I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Reason #147 Why I Amuse Myself

2010-05-01T11:52:00.000-07:00

I woke up yesterday with a crazy migraine. All day at work I thought the migraine had somehow cured my vision and I no longer needed glasses, because my vision was blurred when I put my glasses on, but was perfect when I took them off. It wasn't until I was driving home that I realized I had my contacts in.

I Have No Patience For Your Impatience

2010-04-28T19:57:00.001-07:00

Ugh. This morning a traffic construction guy told me to "Move, you're holding up traffic," as I asked him a simple question. I snapped at him. Totally unlike me.

All day I was amazed by my students' inability to have patience or compassion for each other.

Then a guy yelled at me for having parked in his spot for five minutes. I snapped again.

I wish people's immediate response to every situation weren't hostility.

Beets Me

2010-03-23T20:37:00.000-07:00

Like dhania and beer before them, beets are something I never thought I'd enjoy. I always thought they tasted like dirt. They still do. It's just that I'm into them now.

Maybe it's because they are the new spinach, or perhaps it's their amazing color which makes it look like you've just performed surgery in your kitchen when you cut them, but something's got me loving beets.

Effed by Comcast, Yet Again

2010-03-13T19:23:00.000-08:00

Wow. Just when I thought Comcast "Customer Service" could not get any more ridiculous, along comes this craziness:

I get an email from Comcast saying my statement is available online. I click on the link in the email and am prompted to enter my user-name. Underneath the box for user-name it says "Your user-name is your email address." So I enter my email address (the one to which they had sent the message about my bill).

Then it says, "Invalid user-name." So I try another user-name, which is not an email address, just my last name. This one works, and I am then prompted to enter my password. Whenever I try to do this, it automatically decides my user-name should be followed by "@comcast.net". I don't have a Comcast email account, so I can't figure out why it keeps doing this.

It keeps telling me that the password is invalid. So I click on "I forgot my user-name and password." It then prompts me to enter my phone number, and tells me the email associated with the account is "xxxxxxx(user-name)@comcast.net". So I try again, and click "I forgot my password." Now it tells me "There is no password associated with the account."

NO SHIT. THAT'S BECAUSE I NEVER CREATED THIS USER-NAME. YOU FREAKING MADE IT UP. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOG IN IF YOU RE-SET MY USER-NAME AND I HAVE NO PASSWORD?

So it then says, "click here to chat live with a customer service representative." So I click, and then I get a message saying, "There seems to be an unusually long wait to chat with a service representative. Try calling 1-800-COMCAST."

F you, Comcast. I hate your guts.

Efficiency = Bliss

2010-02-15T16:47:00.000-08:00

Just ask JSS -- I love being organized and efficient. A relaxing day to me is cleaning out my closet. It drives him crazy, but I just can't stand it when things are out of place, or there are tasks that need to be done, and I can't take care of them RIGHT NOW.

Please note, this does not apply to grading papers, or doing any other kind of work-related shtuff, when I am not at work. While at work, I am a model of efficiency, but I can't even look at that stuff when I'm home.

Today's task, perfect for a late-winter holiday, was organizing my recipes into a binder, complete with tabs for different types of food (appetizers, salads, pastas, soups, main dishes, breads, and desserts).

I feel great!

Two of my favorite Wikipedia entries

2010-02-10T21:42:00.000-08:00

1) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indian_English

2) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuteness_in_Japanese_culture

Cook It Up

2010-02-08T15:42:00.000-08:00

I purchased this cast iron casserole at Macy's today on the advice of a 50-something biker guy with multiple safety pins piercing his eyebrow. I am hoping to make this Japanese curry tonight, though there's no way it can compete with my friend AF's version.

The reason for this sudden burst of cooking energy is partly due to the Christmas gift JSS got me -- a subscription to Farm Fresh to You, which has sent us butternut squashes two boxes in a row. We've managed to make good use of the rest of the produce (lots of salads, plus potato leek soup and aloo gobi), but those butternuts have just been sitting around.

The evidence is in the photo.

When Peace is Insufficient

2010-01-31T16:05:00.001-08:00

Baby, It's Cold Outside

2010-01-09T13:50:00.000-08:00

My friend commented on how she often sees JSS while walking around the 'hood, but she never sees me.

Earlier today I decided to walk to the drugstore, by way of the farmer's market, and enjoy the usual Saturday morning energy (lots of Maclaren strollers, multiracial families, and reusable shopping bags).

Ten minutes into my stroll, headphones blasting the Bach Cello Suites, watching a woman juggling hula hoops, and some scummy guy sidles up next to me and starts babbling things like, "So what's up wid'it, little mama? How's about you and me trying to make it happen?" I was like, "Uh...you're quite a charmer, but I have a husband." He was undeterred until I finally sped up into the crowd.

Soon after that, a bird shit on my head.

This is why I'm generally inside the house watching 'Mad Men.'

Surprisingly great things

2009-12-22T09:51:00.000-08:00

Here are a few of my favorite things, many of which were wedding gifts:

1) Oxo Good Grips Mango Splitter ($12.99, amazon.com): An amazing little device that seems too good to be true. Getting that pesky seed out of the mango in one swoop? Incredible!

2) Krups FDH212-76 Rice Cooker, Slow Cooker Stainless Steel ($99.99, macys.com): For someone who always manages to burn rice, this is a godsend. I am really excited to try out the slow cooker options.

3) Beatles Rock Band for Nintendo Wii ($249.99, amazon.com): On regular Rock band I only know like 0.7% of the songs -- on this version I know ALL the songs. Also, the graphics are so cool.

4) Cuisinart DCG-12BC Coffee Grinder, Grind Central ($35, macys.com) & Bodum 8-cup Coffee Press ($39.95, cooking.com): I love making coffee with this duo. Grind up the beans, pop 'em in the French press, and voila!

5) Merona long-sleeve t-shirt ($9.99, target.com): I wear these with EVERYTHING. Every day.

MJ

2009-11-16T20:46:00.000-08:00

I realize I'm a bit late here, since the Michael Jackson post-mortem media blitz train has come and gone, but he's been on my mind since I watched This is It yesterday with the parentals. I hadn't planned to see it, but it was actually kind of nice to get a glimpse into his latest work.

He was still amazing (far better than I will ever be) but definitely showing his age. You wouldn't know it unless you compared it to this, though:

Makes me want sequined everything. Like these Alessandro Dell'Acqua gold sequin pants that MJ wore in the film:

So much for New Year's Resolutions

2009-11-14T12:57:00.000-08:00

SPH sent me a text recently reminding me that I reeeeeeally need to update my blog. I've been a very bad blogger for the past...um...year, I guess. Sorry to my legions of fans (all three of you).

So here's a restart. No promises. Let's see what happens.

There's been a lot of Facebook posting lately about things you are thankful for. I'm definitely thankful for all of the important things (friends, family, health, job, home, food, safety, etc.) but I thought I'd examine the not-so-major things that just make me happy. Here are some of them:

1) The Internet. I love random facts and I love that the Internet gives them to me.

2) Zachary's Pizza. Yum.

3) Having small feet.

4) PBS and NPR. If you're nerdy and you know it clap your hands.

5) Libraries.

6) Trader Joe's.

7) Tokyo, Bombay, and Amsterdam.

8) Miniature anything.

9) Tampons.

10) DVR.

Bay Area Love

2009-06-09T19:01:00.000-07:00

As I struggle these days with my job, my wedding plans, and the usual day-to-day nonsense, I thought it would be helpful to reflect on the reasons I love the Bay Area (in the form of a list, of course), if for no other reason than to help me keep my sanity.

These are in no particular order, by the way, nor is this an exhaustive list.

1) Vik's Chaat Corner. The perfect mix of India and the Bay.

2) Fog.

3) Cold wind at Ocean Beach followed by a drink at the Cliff House.

4) Hella bootsie Yay Area slang.

5) Pixar.

6) Bi-Rite Ice Cream.

7) Microclimates.

8) Jeremy's.

9) Tons and tons of amazing vegetarian food.

10) Mission burritos.

Bride Wars: Lehenga Edition

2009-05-31T19:40:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I randomly wandered in to Sari Palace, with the hopes of avoiding a trip to Artesia by finding a perfect lehnga to wear at my wedding reception. Immediately, I saw "the one." No alternatives, no questions. I wanted it. It wanted me. It was all so romantic.

Unfortunately, I had to wait for my mom to see it (and pay for it) before I could make it mine. I begged the sales girl to set it aside for me until the next day.

I guess my begging fell on deaf ears, because today I went back, saw the lehnga sitting on the counter, and I was like, "This is my lehnga, I'd like to buy it."

The sales lady says, "But that other customer is buying it."

I was like, "But this is my lehnga."

I cried, for reals. Luckily, the owner felt bad and said she would get a replica custom-made to my measurements, for the same price. Whew!!

However, for a brief moment, I pictured some scene out of a movie in which two women fight like maniacs over a wedding dress, tearing each other's hair out and clawing at each other's faces.

It didn't come to that, but I'd like to think that, if it had, I could beat her down.

Things that Irritate Me

2009-04-04T18:58:00.000-07:00

Since top ten (or 25) lists are the thing these days, I thought I'd spend a few moments meditating on the things I can't stand. Here they are, in no particular order:

1) When little kids wear their shoes on the wrong feet.

2) People who mix up there/their/they're, your/you're, where/were/we're, etc.

3) Clowns.

4) People who preface statements with things like, "I'm not homophobic, but..." or "I'm not racist, but..."

5) Guys who use the word "tits."

6) When strands of hair fall onto my arms, legs, or anywhere else.

7) Being yelled at or reprimanded.

8) When my students don't listen to me.

9) Thinking about where milk or eggs come from.

10) Trying on pants.

Ten Books

2009-03-23T19:20:00.000-07:00

So lately it seems that my roundabout (read: lame) way of coming up with blog post topics is to steal them from Facebook. So here goes another one (impossible for an English teacher to pass this up)...

The charge is to write the ten books that you have found most influential in your life, without thinking too hard--just to jot down whatever comes to mind. Do it in a note and tag your friends (including me!) to invite them to share their lists with you.

1. Curious George Goes to the Hospital by H.A. Rey

2. Ramona the Pest by Beverly Cleary

3. Kristy's Great Idea by Ann M. Martin

4. Forever by Judy Blume

5. The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger

6. The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy

7. Naked by David Sedaris

8. The Interpreter of Maladies by Jhumpa Lahiri

9. A Suitable Boy by Vikram Seth

10. Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone* by J.K. Rowling

*Original UK title

Gumnut Cottage

2009-03-15T19:03:00.000-07:00

Dreamy

2009-03-11T18:10:00.001-07:00

Love Letter

2009-03-10T18:00:00.000-07:00

According to my horoscope,

This would be a perfect week to practice writing love letters. It's not yet a favorable time to actually send the love letters you compose, however. You need some work before you'll be ready to produce the finished products. You've got to drain off the chatter that's at the top of your head before you'll be able to penetrate to the more interesting truths that lie at the bottom of your heart. But if you do your homework -- churn out, say, at least three eruptions of rabid amour -- you'll prepare yourself well to craft a thoughtful meditation that will really have a chance to make an impact.

So here goes a practice run:

Dear Words,

I love you truly, madly, deeply, eternally, ecstatically, desperately. When you are not around me, I fall silent. When I look around, I see you everywhere, and if I don't, I feel confused and alone. As individuals you are powerful, but when I see (or better yet, think of) ways to put you together, you become divine, transcendent, glorious. You satisfy all my senses and always have.

Yours truly,
me

25 Things

2009-02-15T19:27:00.000-08:00

1. When I buy Trader Joe's white cheddar popcorn, I generally eat the whole bag in one sitting.
2. I only allow myself to buy Trader Joe's white cheddar popcorn once a year.
3. I'm really into local history (no matter where I am). I love finding out the story of whatever city, neighborhood, or house I'm in.
4. I want to write a book. I want that book to be Jhumpa Lahiri's The Interpreter of Maladies.
5. I am an optimist.
6. My first crush was Greg Brady.
7. I hate exercise, but I am getting better at forcing myself to do it.
8. I'm really superstitious.
9. I count on my fingers.
10. I only type with one hand, but I type really fast.
11. I love, love, LOVE to travel. But I also love returning home.
12. Even though it's totally un-P.C., I am fascinated by colonialism.
13. If I had a time machine at my disposal, I'd probably visit the 1940s and 1950s as often as possible.
14. My favorite number is 14.
15. I studied voice for ten years. I loved it.
16. I also played the flute for nine years. I didn't love it.
17. I don't think life would be worth living without cheese.
18. Rain makes me happy.
19. So do elephants.
20. I am terrified of the ocean, especially things that live in it. Red Lobster commercials frighten me.
21. My middle finger on my right hand is permanently deformed from holding my pencil too tightly in school.
22. I was the mascot in high school (well, technically, I dressed up as the mascot).
23. Target is my happy place.
24. If I could afford it, I'd buy all my clothes in Japan.
25. I often wonder what my life would be like if my parents hadn't come to the U.S. and I was born and raised in India.

The Story of India

2009-01-06T21:35:00.000-08:00

So I've been watching the PBS/BBC documentary "The Story of India," which is interesting on many levels.

First of all, the content is pretty all-encompassing -- there's a lot of stories within India, so trying to encapsulate them all is a pretty intense task.

Something else that's got me kind of intrigued is the host, Michael Wood. For better or for worse, I have a real fascination with colonialism and the British Raj, and really the whole Indo-British connection (past and present). Wood is definitely one of those Indophile Brits that is just overjoyed by the whole concept of India. He's just super-gushy-excited about everything he comes across as he travels along, from crowded bazaars to Buddhist temples, and sometimes it's a bit too much. I don't think any actual Indians are as hyped on India as he is. At the same time, it's kind of cool that he's just SO excited about everything.

I wonder how many British people who lived in India during the Raj were as excited as Wood to be there. If I had a time machine this is definitely one of the eras that I would travel to.

New Year's Resolutions

2008-12-28T21:49:00.000-08:00

Let's start by taking a look back at last year's resolutions and seeing how they panned out:

1) Clean my house.
This one actually happened. I was just talking to a friend about how I started from one end of the house and moved slowly but surely along and cleaned/organized my stuff.

2) Consolidate my belongings.
Another success. This was kind of in tandem with #1.

3) Find an apartment.
Wow, triple play. Resolutions #1 and #2 were in preparation for the third one, and I scored a great place. It wasn't where I thought it would be (or wanted it to be), but I love it.

So in the spirit of making resolutions that are actually attainable, let's see what I can come up with this time around. There are things I would love to do, like lose 15 pounds, go on a fabulous honeymoon (meaning I would also have to get engaged and then married, but whatever), and meet Barack Obama, but I don't really like these kinds of resolutions. It's better if they just fall into your lap, rather than having to do anything to make progress toward them -- that way you don't feel so loser-ish if they don't come to fruition. So I'd prefer to pick things that require some effort but are not too tough. Here we go:

1) Cook at home more, and try new recipes that are kind of healthy, or at least involve more vegetables (and less grated cheese).

2) Revive my musical side with lessons of some sort.

3) Blog more frequently.

Happy new year!

If they can't tell it's food...

2008-12-18T18:22:00.000-08:00

...then maybe you shouldn't be making them eat it.

http://www.whoppervirgins.com/

This is one of the most disturbing things I've seen in a while, especially after reading In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan.

Who comes up with this stuff??

Narwhals!

2008-11-25T23:51:00.001-08:00

A Few Recent Photos

2008-11-20T17:49:00.001-08:00

Was feeling ill last night...

Meanwhile, the apartment had been taken over by some nut job...

So today I decided to leave the house and get some fresh air:
It was quite lovely!

♥

2008-11-06T20:41:00.000-08:00

I Can't, I Can

2008-10-27T18:25:00.000-07:00

Here are some things I can't do and don't really think I'll ever fully master:

1) Put on a sari.

I've tried using how-to videos, books, tips from friends and family...I still suck.

2) Understand the mechanics of manual vs. automatic transmission.

3) Run.

4) Sew.

5) Make rice without it sticking to the pot.

On the flipside, here are some things I think I can do pretty well:

1) Parallel park.

2) Read fast.

3) Make people laugh.

4) Multi-task.

5) Name things (usually inanimate objects, like cars, stuffed animals, etc.).

Thought it would be a good day for self-assessment.

Rhymes with "Hate"

2008-10-23T18:26:00.000-07:00

Ugh, I think I just got gay-bashed, SF-bashed, and Arab-bashed all at once, and I fall into none of those categories.

Walking to the shoe repair shop with JSS, we decided to take a stroll by these random "Yes on 8" protesters creating a hullabaloo on the corner. We live in the heart of all that is feared by conservatives, so I've never actually seen any of these "family values" folks around before (thank goodness). As we got closer, I was heartened to see some brave "No on 8"-ers in their midst.

We crossed the street and were greeted with shouts like, "Yeah! A man and a woman! Yes on 8!"

I was like, "Hell to the no. We do not support your values. No on 8!"

They seemed dumbfounded. "You mean you two aren't together?"

JSS: "Yes, we're together, but we don't agree with you."

This got them really ignited. Suddenly it was, "Fuck you! Go back to San Francisco!"

And then, out of nowhere, "Go back to Arabia!" and a butt was pointed in our direction. Meanwhile, one of their kids was shouting for us to "shut up."

Awesome. THESE are your family values?? I have to admit, I burst into tears on the spot. People of color spewing hate at us? What about solidarity? What about agreeing to disagree?

I am not amused.

Blockhead, Part II

2008-10-11T10:18:00.000-07:00

NKOTB!!

My lifelong dream of seeing NKOTB in concert has finally come true. It truly was a momentous occasion. Honestly, I had verrrrry low expectations (possibly even lower than when I went to see the "Sex and the City" movie). I figured these guys were no longer capable of their old dance moves and vocal stylings.

But actually...they were really good. It was quite miraculous. The ones who could sing well in the first place (Jordan, Joey, and occasionally Donnie) were still really good singers. And when Jordan hit that high note on "I'll Be Loving You Forever," I have to admit I shed a little tear. Sounds crazy, but it was like, at that moment, all was perfect in the world. It was my youth encapsulated into a single note, reverberating in a hall of 15,000 people, all of whom were probably thinking the same thing. Well, except for the guys who just got dragged there with their girlfriends and wives. But who knows? Maybe a few of them were doing the "Right Stuff" dance, too.

Why are moms so mean?

2008-09-24T20:16:00.000-07:00

It's official: moms are mean. Proof? My very own mother told me it's possible my boyfriend has lost interest in me because I've put on weight.

Thanks for the self-esteem boost, mumsie-poo! Love you too.

Chihuly at the de Young

2008-09-20T14:34:00.000-07:00

Some people say it's not really art, but I loved it.

Anyone can be president. Anyone.

2008-09-14T13:22:00.000-07:00

Crazy Imposter

2008-09-05T21:18:00.000-07:00

This article is amazing. I couldn't stop reading it, to the point of almost being late for work.

The greatest video ever

2008-08-17T22:11:00.000-07:00

My uncle dancing like a maniac is the greatest thing I've ever seen on YouTube.

Olympics Fever

2008-08-11T20:26:00.000-07:00

Photo Credit

I didn't really plan on watching any of the Olympics, but Men's Synchronized Diving may be the hottest thing I've ever seen. The skills. The physiques. The low rise Speedos.

Wow.

Is Singh the Kinng?

2008-08-08T12:28:00.000-07:00

Literally from the first moment I landed in India, I started hearing about the movie Singh is Kinng (yes, that's actually how it's spelled). I had heard a little bit about it before I left the U.S., in fact, but the real media overload began when my cousin and his wife picked us up at the airport in Bombay and immediately started blasting the soundtrack.

"It's rocking," my bhabhi explained. She'd know -- she works for the film's distribution company.

The music, while slightly comical (hearing Snoop Dogg rap the phrase "Singh is the king" is pretty funny. Also hearing Akshay Kumar try to sound hard core -- or is is hard Kaur? -- is ridiculous), is quite rocking.

The question I (and apparently many others) have is "What the hell is Snoop Dogg saying in the middle of the song?"

Interpretations have ranged from, "Buttocks, buttocks, I'm trying to slap my buttocks," to "Whaddup, bhaddup," to "Difficult to make out what he is saying."

Snoop, if you read this, please clue me in.

I'm seeing the movie tonight (back in the Bay) -- perhaps some light will be shed at that time.

Celebration!

2008-07-06T22:26:00.000-07:00

I am celebrating the fact that I am back home in California, a great state indeed because there is no humidity suffocating me.

On the 4th of July, however, I spent some quality time in the town of Celebration, Florida, which is a planned community created by Disney. Scary indeed.

I felt like I was on acid the whole time I was there. It was a weird, weird place that felt more like Disneyland than an actual town (to be fair, the fact that it was overrun by outside visitors and tourists like myself for the 4th of July celebration enhanced the Disneyland feel).

Their fireworks display was fabulous, enhanced by songs from "The Lion King," naturally.

I hear many of the houses in Celebration are rotting, due to the fact that they are made from materials like wood, which look "traditional American" but can't withstand the Florida humidity and heat. Celebrate!!

WWZD?

2008-07-01T13:13:00.000-07:00

Photo credit

Still here in Florida, learning all that can be learned (I'm joking) about Zora Neale Hurston. Love her madly. Yesterday we visited her hometown of Eatonville, which she immortalized in her books. It's very different today than it was during her time, but it still retains a lot of its small-town Southern charm. As Alice Walker argues in her story "Everyday Use," culture is a living thing that can't be framed and hung on a wall.

Purchased the cute Momiji doll pictured above at the campus art museum, which has a great exhibit on post-1990s Japanese painting.

Meanwhile, this chaos is going on in Mongolia, where JSS is working this summer. Scary. I trust that he knows enough to stay inside and away from the riots. Otherwise I might have to go and retrieve him.

Winter Park is Wild!

2008-06-29T13:21:00.000-07:00

I am spending a week at Rollins College in Winter Park, Florida, to attend a seminar on the writer Zora Neale Hurston, who hailed from nearby Eatonville, and briefly lectured at Rollins.

So far, it has been extremely hot and humid, so I think this will be good preparation for India. Today, to escape the heat, we (my colleague Beth and I) saw the movie Kung Fu Panda, which I loved.

Yesterday, we were introduced to the wild side of Winter Park when, on our way to dinner, we caught a couple in a stairwell engaged in some un-appetizing activities. Actually, all we saw was a guy's exposed bum. We made the logical assumptions as to what we had come across. Gross! By the way, this was a few yards away from a Williams-Sonoma and Restoration Hardware. Shocking!

Who knows what else is in store for us...

McVhat??

2008-06-12T14:26:00.000-07:00

Spotted on an AC Transit bus in San Leandro.
Translation (courtesy of my mom): "Taste the new sweetness of summer......McDonalds". Does not make a whole lot of sense but that is what it says.....Garmiyon ki nayi mithas chakhiye."

And the verdict is...

2008-05-31T11:06:00.001-07:00

(Photo Credit: Craig Blankenhorn/The Kobal Coll)

I liked it! I am shocked to admit that the movie was, in my opinion, a step up from the horrendousness that was seasons 5 and 6 of the show. I laughed, I cried, it was better than 'Cats.'

I went to the theater in full Charlotte glory, and, somehow, Charlotte's character ended up being the most entertaining and great in the movie ("I curse the day you were born!").

I did not really care for the "okay, now that you've humiliated and battered me emotionally for years, we'll get mariied your way" ending, but I guess that leaves the future open for possibilities (but hopefully not sequels). And Jennifer Hudson was great, though I'd gone in expecting to be annoyed by her character's existence.

Why didn't Stanford have any lines (other than, "That's what I'm wearing at my wedding, only bigger.")?

The clothes were amazing. Cynthia Nixon was amazing.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

Another Useful/less website

2008-05-28T18:20:00.000-07:00

http://www.dopplr.com/traveller/tinkubell

Why do I continue to sign up for these things?? Information overload!

Can't get it out of my head

2008-05-11T20:56:00.000-07:00

I can't get this song or video out of my head.

What's disturbing is that I no longer find it disturbing.

Throwback

2008-04-26T13:48:00.001-07:00

Photo Credit

I love the 1950s. I know, I know -- it was an era of conformity, repression, segregation, McCarthyism, blah, blah, blah...all I think of is Back to the Future and how I longed to hop into a time machine and arrive at the Enchantment Under the Sea Dance (I realize I would have stuck out like a sore thumb -- a brown one).

I feel a twinge of guilt over my un-P.C. love for the '50s, as I do over my fascination with England and its relationship with India (mmm...colonialism). But, as with any fetish, I try not to let it define me.

Anyway, I can feed my 1950s need by looking at old ads on the Ad*Access site. Hours of entertainment, truly.

Travel Bug

2008-04-18T18:43:00.000-07:00

As the summer approaches, I'm gearing up for my latest international adventure (hopefully complete with travel blog). Beyond that, I feel like, from the end of May onwards, its go-go-go.

A roundup of upcoming travel:

1) D.C.
2) Denver
3) Seattle
4) Florida
5) India (that's the big one)
6) Buffalo

Leave it to me to do all my traveling precisely when it's the most expensive time to fly. Better check that account balance before I buy the remaining tickets!

PC Load Letter?!?

2008-04-15T11:26:00.000-07:00

I got a new printer at work today. I am so so so overjoyed, I can't explain it. The only way I can express how I feel about the evil apparatus I put up with for the past three years is by sharing this:

The old printer is still sitting in the room, eying its replacement with hostility. I could easily go all "Office Space" on it if it doesn't get picked up soon.

I was so excited by the new one that I just wanted to print stuff all day.

Blockhead

2008-04-04T21:38:00.001-07:00

Photo Credit

Well, it's finally happened. The glorious day has arrived. NKOTB are reuniting. HALLELUJAH!!

I don't think I need to remind anyone of my love for the New Kids. I was one of those embarrassing obsessive fans who wore Joey-Joe buttons every day (and multiple ones on Fridays!). I've had to take the fandom underground, but it's always been bubbling beneath the surface.

If anyone knows anyone who can score me tickets to their reunion concert, contact me immediately! I'm only half joking.

Jump to Conclusions Mat

2008-04-02T18:40:00.000-07:00

I tend to over-react. Ask JSS, he can tell you.

For example: I can't log in to my email, and I freak out, deciding that I'm being bugged by the CIA.

Or: I call a friend and he/she doesn't call me back within 15 minutes. I decide they hate me for some crime I don't realize I've committed, and I rack my brains for an hour, trying to figure out what I've done and how I can make amends.

Or: I email my brother and don't hear back from him for a few days. I decide he must have choked on some Pasta-roni and is in the hospital, or worse.

I wish I could just chalk this up to some quirk in my personality and laugh it off. The problem comes when my paranoia actually predicts something accurately. This makes all my freak-outs seem not insane, or mildly amusing, but omens to be believed. I never know when one of them will actually come true, but I think that I somehow believe that the worrying will make these events LESS likely to come to fruition.

For example: if I worry that I've accidentally tossed a check in the trash, and that I forgot to lock my car door, and that I've lost my favorite necklace, it's impossible that all of those things will come true. Therefore, I can surmise, my fretting has actually PREVENTED these events from happening. And, if one of them DOES occur, then clearly I didn't worry enough.

Sigh.

It's amazing I'm able to wake up each day without the sky falling on me.

Book Corner

2008-03-31T20:41:00.000-07:00

This book arrived on my doorstep today and I can't put it down. Jhumpa Lahiri is amazing. I would give my left nut (figuratively) to be able to capture day-to-day details with the precision and reverence she does.

Can't wait to finish, but wish it could go on forever.

Fashion Dos and Don'ts

2008-03-20T21:12:00.000-07:00

Photo Credit

I know I promised to be more on top of things about posting, and then...well, I have no excuse, really. I'll keep trying. Anyway, thanks to my YKB pal Ami, I am now addicted to The Sartorialist's Blog. I've been reading his column in GQ for years, and just started checking his blog daily.

Currently he's in India, and has taken some fabulous snaps (as they say), including the gorgeous one pictured above. Good grief.

I covet his job. For a while I had a semi-recurring column in Sapna Magazine in which I would chronicle fashion dos and don'ts by taking pictures of unsuspecting folks and then writing up some snarky comments, but I just couldn't deal with the sneaking up aspect any more. I love being catty about what people are wearing, but it would be so much more fun to find people in amazing outfits and revel in their amazingness.

On that note, I also feel the need to turn it out more, fashion-wise. I know I'll never be one of those people like my friend Tinku, whose eye for style is totally innate, but I definitely need to refresh the closet soon. I love clothes, and I love putting together unique looks, but I feel like I've lost a little of my energy when it comes to being one step ahead of the curve. I'm hoping to find time this weekend to sneak over to Jeremy's and do some buying.

This Makes Me Laugh

2008-02-26T20:04:00.001-08:00

Dogs of Note

2008-02-21T19:51:00.000-08:00

Here are some of my favorite dog breeds (in no particular order):

Bulldog

Photo Credit

Why I Like Them: Smooshy face, lazy, and I think they grunt and snore.

French Bulldog

Photo Credit

Why I Like Them: Wiggly and cute, but in an ugly way. They may also grunt.

Beagle

Photo Credit

Why I Like Them: Snoopy.

Boston Terrier
Photo Credit

Why I Like Them: Cute but not cloyingly so, as with chihuahuas.

Pug
Photo Credit

Why I Like Them: I definitely like the black ones better, as racist as that sounds. Again, I think it's the grunting and snorting sounds.

I also really like: Bassett Hounds, Puggles, Dachshunds, West Highland White Terriers, and most dogs that are fat and lazy.

My favorite celebrity

2008-02-16T09:26:00.000-08:00

I love Paula Deen!!! If you've never seen her Food Network show "Paula Deen's Home Cooking," you are missing out. She's the queen of butter, the empress of cheese, the maven of deep-frying...

I knew it was love when she actually grunted with glee while tasting some of her deep fried goodness.

I would absolutely love to taste her homemade goodness...just once, Paula. Just once.

At this very moment I am watching her wrap squares of macaroni and cheese with bacon, battering them up, and deep frying them.

Though I'm a vegetarian, I must stand up and applaud.

Sunshine

2008-02-11T18:38:00.000-08:00

Thank goodness the sun has finally come out and the air is warm. It has been FREEZING (for California anyway) the past month, but the last few days have been gorgeous.

I generally love the rain. I was born during a rainstorm, and I love waking up in the middle of the night hearing rain beating down on the roof. But something about a warm sunny day after a cold spell is magical.

It must be my years in Santa Barbara. The hippie in me comes out when it's warm and sunny, and I just want to lounge around in the sun. Another important thing I learned in Santa Barbara, though, is that I can't stand weather that's constantly the same -- I need a little variety.

I think this quote by Anne Bradstreet says it best: "If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome."

That's true with regard to many aspects of life. It's during the times when things are tough that you realize how good you had it before (and hopefully will have again).

YouTube Superstar

2008-02-07T11:30:00.000-08:00

I'm a superstar on YouTube. Check me out:

Sometimes kids crack me up.

Hiatus and Apologies

2008-01-31T21:08:00.000-08:00

Many apologies for the long hiatus. Life gets confusing and complicated at times when you expect it to be simple and fun.

The Muffin Room will be back with a real post very soon. I promise.

Super Skinny Me

2008-01-01T21:36:00.000-08:00

While getting a new year's pedicure this afternoon (and avoiding cleaning my room), I read a magazine article about this BBC program called "Super Skinny Me" in which two British journalists decided to try crash diets (like "the soup diet" or "the protein only diet") with the aim of getting down to a size zero.

I fired up the telly this evening (after cleaning up a little bit in my room AND cooking up a pot of Rachael Ray's "Black Bean Stoup") and found the program On Demand through BBC America. It was fascinating. Even more interesting, in a way, were the online responses and blog comments I found that referenced the show. One of my favorites, if only for its insanity, was from a man named "Wil" who wrote, "I'd rather have sex with a woman I cut myself on than one who smothered me...or made me vomit with disgust." Someone calling themselves "urajudgementalpr*ck" responded to Wil with, "Somehow Wil I doubt that either is lining up at your door" (see the original blog post here).

It's really interesting how enraged this subject makes people, and how the two women in the show both saw themselves going insane in terms of trying to control their own bodies and minds via food intake.

Check out Kate Spicer's (one of the two women who went through the experiment) article about her experiences here.

The program is part of a series called "BBC Reveals." Now I'm hooked. I have to watch all of them.

New Year's Resolutions

2008-01-01T12:16:00.000-08:00

Actually, these are just for this month, but I think that's how these things go, anyway.

1) Clean my house.

2) Consolidate my belongings.

3) Find an apartment.

Happy new year!

Hours of Entertainment

2007-12-22T09:12:00.000-08:00

This is the cutest thing EVER. I just want to squish John-John's little face off.

Go on YouTube and type in "Classic Sesame Street."

You will not be disappointed.

Random Question

2007-12-21T07:00:00.000-08:00

OK, why is it that on regular work days, even when I get up right when my alarm goes off, I am ALWAYS running late, but then on days like today, when I have a little leeway in my schedule, and I even let myself sleep in a bit, and take an extra long shower, I have plenty of extra time to do things like put on makeup, check my email, mess around with my iTunes, and write this blog post???

Not Celebrity Obsessed

2007-12-18T22:29:00.000-08:00

Photo credit dlisted.com

Okay, I am, just a little bit. So what if I read Dlisted every day? It is a worthy news source. How else would I have found out that Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant?

I guess it should come as no surprise that Brit-Brit's 16-year-old sister is knocked up, but it would be nice if someone in that family got an ounce of sense. I mean, how difficult is it to NOT get pregnant? She knows how to go to the drug store and buy a pregnancy test, but not how to get on birth control? Puh-leeze.

Part of my celeb obsession can be traced to my friends, but I think another part of it is that my job requires me to be patient, understanding, and mature at all times. I can't be mean to anyone, even if I think they deserve it. So watching celebs eff up their lives, and having the liberty to say snarky things about them, is a good outlet for my mean streak.

Bring it on, Spearses. Bring it on.

Chinese Ancestors

2007-12-08T23:36:00.000-08:00

Just a shout out to the parking gods -- came home at 11:00 on a Saturday night and snagged a spot right in front of the house. I heard there are something like 500 fewer parking spots than there are cars in San Francisco, so this was a huge deal.

There have even been cases of people getting killed trying to save parking spots, or attacking meter maids (or men) for getting a parking ticket.

It's vicious out there. Anyone who has ever been to SF has a parking horror story. In all my years here, I've been extremely lucky. I'm super anal about driving and parking safely here, so I've only gotten one parking ticket (knock wood). I had one infamous former roommate who got at least two a month, and even somehow managed to get a ticket after she had sold her car and moved out of the country.

I have a secret weapon for finding parking that was passed on to me from a good friend. I share it sparingly and hold it in great reverence.

Speaking of Chinese Ancestors, take a look at this.

Thirty, Flirty, and Fabulous?

2007-12-02T21:11:00.000-08:00

Thirty is looming on the horizon. I can see it not far up the road, sharpening its fangs. They say 30 is the new 20, but I'm not sure about that one. True, a lot of my friends are doing the things in their thirties that women of previous generations were doing in their twenties (figuring out their careers, buying homes, getting married, having kids, blah blah blah), but it's not exactly the same.

First of all, telling ourselves that "thirty is the new twenty" as we see actual twentysomethings roaming around us with their exuberant grins makes it even more depressing. Also, some of us aren't going to be doing the things that our friends are doing in their thirties until we're in our forties...or maybe not even then.

And so what? It's hard not too keep a tally of all our perceived imperfections, especially if we compare ourselves to people we know, but it rarely does us any favors. If anything, it just shows us how different we all are, even though we come from the same generation, hometown, college, or community.

Maybe I'm just trying to be optimistic as the beast waves menacingly at me, but who knows? Maybe it's hiding a red balloon behind its back for me, and all it needs is a nice massage and a cocktail to make it less monstrous.

I remember why...

2007-11-25T13:10:00.000-08:00

This is a direct response to my last post, musing about why I don't spend enough time with my good friends here in the Bay. I remember why now. My wallet and my body can't handle it. Oof.

What would we do, baby, without us?

2007-11-20T19:35:00.000-08:00

Fun fun fun! I just had the best time in New York with my crew. A lot of them are former SF-ites who have left the Bay, but, embarrassingly enough, some of them are good friends who live less than a mile a way from me, who I haven't seen in months.

How did this happen?! We used to hang out every weekend! I guess life gets in the way sometimes, but we all realized how lucky we are to have such a great posse. I'm hoping we will all see each other again soon (though I'm not sure my liver can handle it), but I hereby pledge that I will see my SF buddies a lot more often. Swear. Sha-na-na-na!

P.S. States of New York and/or New Jersey: we apologize for running that tollbooth.

Eat, Pray, Whatever

2007-11-14T18:53:00.000-08:00

Photo credit Penguin Books

I finally succumbed to pressure and read Eat, Pray, Love. If you haven't heard of it, you're probably a man. This book is one of those Oprah-induced phenomena that every woman over the age of 25 seems to have read. I know several women who say this book "changed their life."

I have been hearing about it for a few years, and almost bought it on several occasions, but something held me back. I generally hate books that are "one woman's journey around the world to find her own path within her heart" type of things. I hated The Alchemist (I know, I know, that's like saying I hate baby bunnies).

But a good friend recommended it, and I was stuck in the airport for a few extra hours and decided to bite the bullet. I read it almost all in one sitting (at the airport, on the plane, on BART -- there was a lot of sitting to be done).

The good news is that I liked it more than I thought I would. The writer, Elizabeth Gilbert, is very likable and funny and a very good writer. My favorite parts were from the beginning through the section where she spent four months eating pizza in Italy. The praying part (in India) was kind of a snooze. I think she quoted one of her friends saying something like, "I so wish I wanted to do that" when she told them she was going to live in an ashram in India for four months. That's how I feel, except I don't even really wish I wanted to do that. By the time she got to Indonesia ("love"), you knew she was going to find love, so it was just a lot of skimming until she found it.

The title kind of gives the plot away, but I guess the plot is not so much the point. "It's the journey," or whatever.

Three stars, if I could Yelp it.

Of course Hollywood is turning it into a movie starring Julia Roberts. Lame. I also found out that an article Gilbert wrote for GQ was turned into the movie Coyote Ugly. Ouch.

Paused

2007-11-07T21:20:00.000-08:00

Lately I feel like my life is stuck on pause. I see all kinds of interesting and tantalizing things in my future, but I can't access them. It's quite frustrating.

Isn't it the Buddhists who believe in living for the moment and turning a blind eye to both the past and future? That's a tall order, and I admire anyone who can do it successfully. As a capitalist society, we are taught that the more we work and gain now, the more enjoyable things will be for us in the future. We go to work so we can earn a vacation. We are nice to people so they will be nice to us later. We invest in the stock market with the hope of future profits.

It's difficult to imagine a purely existential life. The future is not always so far off. It's happening. Right now. And now. And now. And now.

New Niece!

2007-11-04T18:01:00.001-08:00

This is my new niece, Reeya:
Possibly the cutest thing ever, with the exception of her brother (it's a tie). For a newborn, she's pretty darn adorable. Now my next statement may generate some controversy, and I hope I'm not cursing myself, but I stand by it: not all babies are cute.

I know it's not their own fault, and that doesn't mean that they won't grow up to become more attractive, and that they aren't already wonderful and amazing little people. But some of them are funny looking.

I don't have anything against ugly babies and scary children in public, but there seems to be a very high frequency of them in advertising. I can't understand it. Why would you want a scary kid to sell your product? It's not good for business.

Photo courtesy Fisher-Price website

Boo!

2007-10-28T22:14:00.001-07:00

My Dick Cheney jack o'lantern.

Homey

2007-10-24T21:46:00.000-07:00

San Francisco summer is in its last throes, I think. October is really when things heat up here, and last night was warm enough for Rrrr, TV, and I to head out to the beach! We even caught a glimpse of some bioluminescent creatures as we clawed through the sand at the water's edge.

One of our conversation topics was home. Things in my house have been somewhat "eh" this week (drama) and Rrr also shared some similar conundrums. It's so hard to feel really comfortable throughout the day if things are uncomfortable at home.

I left home last weekend and traveled to New York for the J.K. Rowling reading. I knew she dropped a bomb when she outed Dumbledore, but I didn't expect it to be such huge news. I mean, really, what difference does it make to the stories? It's funny how the whole thing has been blown out of proportion. It's not as if she came prepared with a slideshow featuring pictures of Dumbledore at the Folsom Street Fair. Her comments were in response to a very specific question from a teen in the audience. The media is making it seem like the purpose of her reading was to free Dumbledore from the closet.

Anyway, pics from the weekend are here:

pooey

2007-10-14T19:29:00.001-07:00

Why are there certain streets that are full of dog poo? For example, Central Avenue between Hayes and Fell tends to be pretty bad. I guess because it's on the way to the park and the dogs can't hold it? It's gotten better lately, though.

The absolute worst I've seen is on Ashbury between Hayes and Grove. There are piles of crap every three feet. I just don't get it -- is there some unwritten code of dog ownership that says you only clean it up on certain blocks? Do dogs just automatically poo when they see poo on the ground? It's SO GROSS.

Signs that the Universe cares

2007-10-10T22:29:00.000-07:00

I just two eye-opening experiences:

1) The higher-ups at Yelp must have seen my "Yelp Reject" post, because they invited me to join the Elite Squad. This is as close as I'll ever get to a sorority.

2) I figured out how to fix something on my computer all by myself (with the help of Uncle Internet) and came across the following phrase on a Mac nerd site:

"The last thing you want is a b0rk3d graphical server with no revert options."

I love that there are people who know what that means, even though I have absolutely no clue.

Big Crushes

2007-10-10T17:36:00.000-07:00

I have a lot of crushes. Of course there's this guy:
But there's also this guy:
...and this guy:and probably a lot of others.

I can't help it. They're cute! But you wanna know my longest-standing crush?

SFWhere else (except a Björk video) would you see a mailbox that looks like this??
Too cute.

Yelp Reject

2007-10-09T22:09:00.000-07:00

After my good friend Rrrr became an elite member on Yelp, I felt an immediate need to jump on the bandwagon. Invites to events with free drinks? Count me in.

But, sadly, I think I am a Yelp reject -- they sent no response to my witty message nominating myself as the coolest new member of the Elite Squad.

I feel like I'm doing the online dating thing, when you email somebody cute a funny/alluring introduction and get no response.

Your loss, Yelp...you'll be sorry...mark my words! (Cue sinister laughter)

La Canción del Paraguas

2007-10-01T21:34:00.000-07:00

Why am I obsessed with "The Umbrella Song"?? Why did I translate the words into Spanish? Ay ay ay!!

La Canción Del Paraguas

Tenía mi corazón
y nunca seremos mundo aparte
Quizá en compartimientos
pero usted todavía será mi estrella
Bebe porque en la obscuridad
no puede ver los coches brillantes
y ése es cuando usted me necesita allí
con ti compartiré siempre
porque

Cuando los brillos del sol
que brillaremos juntos
le dije que esté aquí por siempre
dije que seré siempre su amigo
tomé un juramento
permaneceré hasta el extremo
Ahora que está lloviendo más que siempre
sepa que todavía nos tenemos
puede estar parado bajo mi paraguas
puede estar parado bajo mi paraguas
(aguas aguas aguas ay ay ay)
bajo mi paraguas
(aguas aguas aguas ay ay ay)
bajo mi paraguas
(aguas aguas aguas ay ay ay)
bajo mi paraguas
(aguas aguas ay ay ay ay ay ay)

Éstos desean cosas,
nunca vendrán entre nosotros
Usted es parte de mi entidad
Usted está aquí para el infinito
Cuando la guerra ha tomado su parte,
cuando el mundo ha repartido sus tarjetas,
si la mano es dura,
junto repararemos su corazón

porque...

Cuando los brillos del sol
que brillaremos juntos
le dije que esté aquí por siempre
dije que seré siempre su amigo
tomé un juramento
permaneceré hasta el extremo
Ahora que está lloviendo más que siempre
sepa que todavía nos tenemos
puede estar parado bajo mi paraguas
puede estar parado bajo mi paraguas
(aguas aguas aguas ay ay ay)
bajo mi paraguas
(aguas aguas aguas ay ay ay)
bajo mi paraguas
(aguas aguas aguas ay ay ay)
bajo mi paraguas
(aguas aguas ay ay ay ay ay ay)

Usted puede ejecutarse en mis brazos,
es aceptable no se alarma,
(venido en mí)
(no hay distancia entre nuestro amor)
Dejaré la lluvia verter,
seré todo lo que usted necesita y más

porque...

Cuando los brillos del sol
que brillaremos juntos
le dije que esté aquí por siempre
dije que seré siempre su amigo
tomé un juramento
permaneceré hasta el extremo
Ahora que está lloviendo más que siempre
sepa que todavía nos tenemos
puede estar parado bajo mi paraguas
puede estar parado bajo mi paraguas
(aguas aguas aguas ay ay ay)
bajo mi paraguas
(aguas aguas aguas ay ay ay)
bajo mi paraguas
(aguas aguas aguas ay ay ay)
bajo mi paraguas
(aguas aguas ay ay ay ay ay ay)

Está lloviendo
Ay bebe, está lloviendo
Bebe, venido en mi
venido en mi
Está lloviendo
Ay bebe, está lloviendo
Bebe, venido en mi
Usted puede venir siempre en mí
venido en mi...

Why are weekends so short?

2007-09-30T19:23:00.001-07:00

This has been one of those weekends where I need an extra weekend to recover.

I went to:

1) Tracy, to sign papers related to the upcoming J.K. Rowling fest.
2) A book club meeting in Oakland.
3) A book fair at Fort Mason.
4) Lunch with friends.
5) A birthday bash that was way too much fun.
6) A wedding expo (and also happened upon a gamers' convention)
7) Back home to SF to meet up with relatives, to sign more Rowling-related paperwork. You'd think we were meeting the President (I'd be way less excited about that).

Now it's 7:30 and I'm ready to pass out. Can't I just take another day off?

Yelp!

2007-09-23T22:01:00.000-07:00

Recent reviews by Vandana M.

What's this?

Leftover Lady

2007-09-19T21:07:00.000-07:00

I try to limit my TV intake by allowing myself only one show per season. Unfortunately, it appears that "Ugly Betty," "America's Next Top Model," and "Project Runway" will all be on in the coming months. Looks like I've got my work cut out for me.

Did anyone catch tonight's episode of ANTM? These contestants keep getting crazier. My vote for the winner (though definitely not the craziest) this time around goes to the girl with Asperger's syndrome (or Ah-SPER-ger's, as she pronounces it). Although who can forget Jade, a.k.a. "Leftover Lady" from a few "cycles" ago?

Let's enjoy and reminisce, shall we?

Dang, that shit never gets old.

A Gold Star Day!

2007-09-15T16:44:00.000-07:00

Today has been a most exciting day. I woke up with a phone call from my aunt, who told me that my cousin M, a huuuuuuuuuuge Harry Potter fan, had won a sweepstakes to meet J.K. Rowling in New York.

I thought this was exciting enough (she cried when she heard the great news), but THEN, I discovered that she was asking me to go along!!! I am so so so excited!!

After a haircut and lunch in Hayes Valley, Rrrr and I discovered the latest art installation on Hayes Green -- The Hayes Valley Historic Miniature Golf Extravaganza. It was completely random and completely fun. Today was the last day, so we lucked out. Rrrr won the game, but it was close.

Next on our list was the beach (it is a gloriously sunny day), but sadly, the sun didn't extend to the beach. So we hit up Golden Gate Park instead and lounged by the Conservatory of Flowers. The Dahlia Garden is currently in full bloom, so check it out if you can. We saw three wedding photo sessions and one for a Quinceañera.

A plus perfect day so far. I'm meeting Ocho and the Bobster in a few to see Across the Universe. So far the reviews have been less than stellar, so I'm hoping my streak of luck won't come to a screeching halt in the movie theatre tonight.

This is amazing

2007-09-13T20:59:00.001-07:00

Rubbish and the City

2007-09-10T21:40:00.000-07:00

As we all know, I love "Sex and the City." A lot. I watch the entire series, episode by episode, over and over and over again. I can honestly say I've probably seen certain episodes over 50 times.

Lately there's been talk of a "Sex and the City" movie. Here's a news tidbit about Jennifer Hudson possibly playing a role. People seemed shocked that I am absolutely, unequivocally against this plan. Not the Jennifer Hudson part (though as my friend Anne aptly puts it, "Since when has Carrie known any Black people?") -- the whole thing.

Why are you surprised, my friends? Isn't a major component of the show the concept of style and individuality? What is unique about a studio trying to squeeze out every last cent from any decent entertainment franchise (Scooby-Doo, Spiderman, Harry Potter...)? The madness must stop!

Give me my DVDs and leave my memories of the show intact (except for the last two-and-a-half seasons -- those you can have). And don't even THINK about making a Family Ties movie.

Cleaning out the closet

2007-09-09T21:57:00.000-07:00

I finally cleaned out the hall closet and, lo and behold, the majority of the stuff in there was...mine. Oops. Guess I was too quick to blame the ghosts of roommates past.

The rest of the weekend was spent catching up with friends and sitting around the house. I also attempted to phone the parents of all my students. I like to call on Sunday afternoons when it's less likely that anyone will be home. That way I can just leave messages.

Most importantly, I managed to go to Tango Gelato two nights in a row. Did you know gelato has half the fat of ice cream?

Did anyone else see Britney on the VMAs and think she looked like she'd been shot with a tranquilizer dart?

Here are some pictures I've taken recently:

It's hard to believe...

2007-09-06T20:15:00.000-07:00

So perhaps you've heard about this little piece of celebrity drama.

I do adore High School Musical, so I suppose it's moderately upsetting that the little innocent starlet is posing in the buff (though it's also upsetting that Zac Efron pretends she's his girlfriend. Give me a break.).

But what really gets me is all the comments about how she needs to shave her hoo-ha. Really? Why? I can't pretend I don't fall prey to the obsession with grooming and hair removal to a certain extent, but...really? She needs to? Why? I actually think it's kind of refreshing to see a
celeb with natural anything.

I hope I can watch High School Musical 2 without flashing back to that photo.

Why so slow?

2007-09-04T21:06:00.000-07:00

The Bay Bridge was closed all weekend so they could do some retrofitting or whatever so it doesn't collapse again. The job was completed by C.C. Myers Inc., who also fixed the nearby 580/880/80 interchange when it collapsed last May.

In both cases, the work was finished (safely) ahead of schedule.

Also in both cases, the "traffic nightmare" that the news media were eagerly awaiting and predicting never really happened.

This proves a few things: one, that things CAN get completed in a timely manner (Bay Bridge construction companies, are you listening?) and two, that people aren't always as stupid as we look. At least not in San Francisco.

I wonder if C.C. Myers could get hired to do other things quickly and expertly, like reform health care and immigration, plan weddings, or install cable. I'd hire them for sure.

Summer of Love

2007-09-03T08:38:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, Anj and I stopped by the 40th anniversary Summer of Love concert in Golden Gate Park. It was kind of a madhouse, but I think we learned several important things from the 50,000 hippies who were there:

1) Driving a Prius brings good parking karma. We (along with a huge line of others) were searching for parking for at least 30 minutes. Out of nowhere, a guy said, "You looking for parking? Take my spot." We flipped a quick U-turn (which was pretty tough, because the street through the park was narrow and there were tons of cars) and snagged a great spot. And instead of being mad at us, the people in the car behind us yelled, "Hot car!" It added to my Prius lust for sure.

2) The older they are, the more fun they seemed to be having. Not counting the babies, who are always having fun, those aging hippies were sure re-living the good times. We saw old hippies doing all manner of things, including turning on, tuning in, and dropping out.

3) Be sure to wear some flowers in your hair. True to form, there were some friendly old folks handing out yellow daisies dipped in glitter to all who wanted them. Everyone was in a friendly and generous mood. I love it when San Francisco is at its stereotypical best. Positive energy, man.

Back in 2007, I'm going to use my energy today to hit the gym and re-organize the hall closet (we'll see if that second one actually happens -- I've been saying I'd do it every weekend).

The Muffin Room

2007-08-28T21:35:00.000-07:00

Why is this blog called The Muffin Room? It all comes from my high school days. There was a class of students who I believe were Special Ed kids or maybe they had some types of developmental disabilities. These students had a classroom in which they baked muffins to sell to the rest of the student body. There were blueberry muffins, chocolate chip muffins, and (I think) banana nut muffins.

We called those kids The Muffin Kids, and their classroom was The Muffin Room.

One day, The Muffin Room caught fire. I think one of the ovens overheated or something. Everyone was concerned, but then an announcement came over the loudspeakers: "SRHS students -- do not worry. The fire has been put out and the muffins will still be sold."

No mention of the students. Never fear. The muffins will still be sold.

On the cover of the next issue of the school newspaper was a muffin with smoke curling from the top.

That has always stuck with me as one of the most ridiculous things I've ever experienced.

BTW, if you like to read, some of my friends have turned me on to GoodReads, which is a social networking site where you can write book reviews and read reviews that your friends have written. Here's mine:

Shoes

2007-08-25T14:14:00.000-07:00

I hope everyone in the world has seen this YouTube clip.

Like Kelly, I looooooove shoes. When I was in China, all my (clothing) shopping experiences were marred by the phrase, "For yooooou? No, you size too biiiiiiiig. We no have clothes for yooooou."

Dejected, I turned to shoes.

Today I was doing a little back-to-school shopping, and, once again, found solace in shoes. They have been a constant in my life. I have at least two pairs that I've owned since high school. This is not to say that I keep all my old shoes. I love cleaning out my closet, and I'm pretty good about eliminating shoes that just don't work -- even if they're expensive ones I haven't worn much.

But having size 6 feet ensures that, in most parts of the world, at least my feet won't be criticized for their size. If only my stomach would comply, we'd be in business.

Speaking of YouTube, I've posted some of the video clips we took in Mongolia and China. Here's one, of the Naadam horse race we caught in Arkhangai:

Celebrity Obsession

2007-08-24T15:34:00.000-07:00

I go back and forth about celebrity obsession. On the one hand, I love juicy gossip, and it's a lot more guilt-free when it's not about someone I personally know. On the other hand, I hate using any mind power on people who shouldn't even be celebrities in the first place (Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton, the Olsen twins, stylists-to-the-stars...).

This one in particular is extremely tough because Wino's actually talented (unlike those listed above) and I am a huge fan of her voice. But she just makes it waaaaaay too easy to stare in disturbed awe at the mess she continues to make of her life. Same story with Blohan, in a way, because she was actually good in Mean Girls, and now she's a total disaster. It's fun to watch, but it's really just sad.

I'd rather watch people who don't deserve to be famous take the hits.

A Different World

2007-08-23T16:27:00.000-07:00

I thought it would feel really weird to be back home. I expected to have all kinds of culture shock (driving! diversity! George Bush!) but it hasn't been as strange as I'd expected. It seems like I never left, actually, especially since I came right back to work.

This isn't a bad thing necessarily. I do feel rested from my trip and it isn't like I don't know I've just spent two months in Mongolia. It's just a lot more anticlimactic than I'd anticipated.

Hopefully I won't have a panic attack on Monday morning when the kiddos arrive.

Back Home

2007-08-22T19:08:00.000-07:00

After hours of flying, I made it back home to San Francisco. At first I was overwhelmed, especially because my room was not left in tip-top shape by the subleaser. But once I got everything in its place, it started to feel like home again.

Now it's back to work. I've already gone in to school two days this week and it's starting to feel routine. The kiddos come on Monday, and then there's no turning back.

I'm sure I'll have some crazy stories once I meet this year's batch of lovely youngsters.

BTW, Mongolia pictures are here.